I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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