Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
