on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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