do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize