you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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