I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
