I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
