my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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