You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
