I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
