I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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