i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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