if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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