lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
