Just cropdusted the office
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
