it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
