I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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