I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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