It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
