Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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