Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
