I skipped work to stalk him.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
