I have demons in me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
