I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
