i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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