Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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