Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
