If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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