did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
