I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize