I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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