So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
