Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
