Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
