He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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