I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
