i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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