im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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