this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
