sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize