Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
