So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
