dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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