Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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