She is in my trunk
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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