Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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