I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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