If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
