I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
