so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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