Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
