Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize