We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
