Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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