My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
