Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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