Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
