This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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