Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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